SunsetsInSilence (silentsaturday) wrote in jerseysunsets,

Innocence dies (1/?)

Title: Innocence Dies (1/?)
Author: SilentSaturday (Jerry Winters/Me)
Beta: My buddy bobby mainly ( so do give me complaints to give him if he did a bad job LOL), Also thank you to my wife Lexy and a few msn friends correcting bits and peices or giving suggestions when I got stuck
Pairing: Gerard/Mikey, Gerard/Frank, And eventual Gerard/Bert
POV: Third and slightly etchy I apologize thoroughly
Rating: Currently Mature subject matter with rather suggestive natures and quite an over use of foul language *smiles*
Warnings: Slight violence, extreme swearing and eventually full blown smut... Beware kiddies
Author Notes: Ok judge lightly because this is my very FIRST fic, not first post but very first ever self written fic. I have never been much of a writer, I'm an artist not a writer, so do try to go easy on me and enjoy what you can of this post please and thank you.

A sudden white light erupted through the room, breaking through the darkness and surrounding him with a sudden rush of heat. He shook from the exhilaration of it all. As the light swept around the room it shattered every window instantly and broke through the chains that bound him to the floor. The light slowly came to a stop in the center of the room, as the glow diminished some an angel came into view. Its wings suspended mid air, but its feet still hovering above the ground. The sight made him gasp. Shrouded by white light, his face hidden by the blinding purity around him. Gerard knew it all too well because he'd already had this dream before, numerous times in-fact, but never so vivid. He knew what to expect next and knew the frustration he'd feel upon waking. It was all too common, it had happened so many times in his life he had stopped fighting it. But this time, this time was different. As with the very many times before, he slowly felt the angel lifting him to his feet and embracing him. He clung to him for dear life, still weak and unable to move. Suddenly the angel took flight. Soaring above everything. Gerard closed his eyes fear creeping over him. He hated heights and wanted no idea of how high they could be. Suddenly the landing, a soft but audible thud as the angels feet hit the grass. Ah yes the grass, a beautiful and endless field, of the greenest grass he'd seen in his life. Gerard was always left speechless at the sight, the sight of the soft rolling hills for miles to see. The building, the torment all now forgotten. He turned to the angel as always to thank him, hoping to catch a glimpse of his savior. The light still blinding him from seeing his face. His heart as always beating faster and faster being so close to someone of such significance. The angels power over him was unmatched by any. He couldn't explain it if he tried, plus if he did try people would probably think he’s crazy. Again the moment came where the angel would step closer to him, closer then any one had been to him in a while, especially a man. The angels face so close to his that their breath intermingled causing Gerard’s body to shudder against his will with anticipation of his next move. Within instants their lips touched. A simple kiss, but with such meaning it broke Gerard’s heart to feel their lips part. He knew the second he opened his eyes the dream would end it always did. He tried to hold it back, tried to stop it, refusing to open his eyes, refusing to lose this feeling of true happiness he held within his grasp. That is, until the angel spoke to him.
"why won't you look at me, are you that afraid of this? of us?" That voice, he knew that voice, he couldn't place it, but something inside him told him that voice was not new to him. No, in-fact the familiarity in it was agonizing to his senses. He couldn't stand it anymore, maybe for once he'd find out who it was taunting his thoughts, his heart. Slowly he raised his head and he opened his eyes. What met his gaze was nothing close to what he expected.

No sooner had the words left his mouth then the dream was ripped away from him, and as always he awoke in a cold sweat. He moaned in frustration when the darkness of his bunk was the reality before him.
"Gee? Are you awake?" a random voice in the darkness, no the angels voice... Maybe he was still dreaming. "I heard you say my name"
Gerard could barely bring himself to answer, he was definitely not dreaming. "Mikey?" he barely got the words out, the fear and discomfort in his own voice startled him.
"Yeah? you ok, you sounded like you were having a nightmare" The concern in Mikey’s voice at that moment tore through Gerard like a million knives, if only Mikey knew the truth. A nightmare he could have dealt with. He'd had many in his life time, but this, this was a lot worse. For a few minutes there was nothing but hollow silence as Gerard fought to find an answer for his brother.
"No, its nothing Mikey, don't worry about it ok. You just get some rest" Gerard said trying not to show the same tone he had just mere seconds before. He sighed with relief when Mikey’s simple reply came back
"alright, well night gee. see you in the morning I guess"
"yeah goodnight mikey" Gerard’s response even to him seemed empty.
Gerard lay in his bed thinking of ways to avoid the dream, ways he could sleep without dreaming. He thought back to the days he was medicated for his nightmares and wondered if that would work again. Only this time it wasn't a nightmare, he had loved every second and he knew it. Maybe that’s what was bothering him. He had basically kissed his brother and liked it. He didn't however enjoy what that meant, he knew instantly though. He was falling for someone yet again, this time though it was different, this time it was ... his brother.
"Gerard! Dammit you left your fucking clothes lying everywhere again..." The voice woke him out of a dreamless sleep. When he'd fallen asleep or the fact he had at all was unclear to him. But when he woke up it became clear somehow lost in his thoughts he had in-fact managed to get back to sleep. *thud* "UGH!" Gerard laughed to himself snuggling back into his bed. Frank had yet again managed to somehow get caught in one or more of Gerard’s sprawled clothes and fallen. Ah how the early morning routines of touring were so easy to predict. "GERARD!" Gerard forced himself up in his bunk and swung his legs over the side
"oh... good your up, can you clean up your mess maybe? you know you're not the only one who has to live on this bus, can we try keeping it um I don't know liveable?!" Frank said kicking aside a discarded pair of jeans. "well I could but it take away from my morning amusement, I gotta admit I do love the sound of your screaming. Though I think I preferred it a few months back, much more appealing" Gerard snapped back at him as he slowly rose out of his bunk blocking the light from his eyes with his hand and squinting to see Franks reaction. As hoped for and expected Frank stood slack jawed and blushing. "oh suddenly no reply, there’s a shocker" Gerard’s assault continued, even he himself didn't understand why he was being so cruel. Maybe it was his frustration at the dream, his body being racked with pain and his minds being worn out. Or maybe he was simply mentally exhausted from the tour already, and since it was only half way through he hoped that wasn't the case.
"you know, you don't always have to be a dick Gerard..." Frank said slowly lowering his eyes to the ground, pushing the mass of clothes around with his feet.
"funny how you used to beg for my dick now you're complaining about my being one" Gerard snapped back resulting in yet another shocked look from frank much to his pleasure.
"Good morning!" Mikey said jumping out of his bunk happy as always "Frankie, is there coffee on? I need coffee REALLY badly" he said as he began picking up the multiple articles of clothing blocking him from the bathroom
"Here ya go, these are yours I believe" he said handing the pile to Gerard "try to keep your stuff, with your stuff instead of on the floor, you’re a person not a pig Gee" he added smiling at his brother and ruffling his already more then tattered looking hair a bit
"Frankieeeeeeeeee, will you make me a coffee while I shower pleaseeeeeeeeeee" Mikey said nuzzling up to the shorter man for a moment. Frank simply smiled in return. Mikey had a way of making life better simply by being around and no one could deny the fact. Even Gerard smiled in spite of himself at his brothers affectionate ways.
"ya know, you guys should shower sometime today too. it might do you some good to clean yourselves up a bit once in a while" Mikey said as he quickly found himself a towel and headed off towards the bathroom. With a small wave from Mikey the bathroom door closed behind him. It was always hard to stay mad when Mikey was around, he was just one of those people you couldn't help but smile around. But Frank however had a way of ruining those hard to dampen moments by not letting certain things be dropped as easily as that.
“so you gonna pick up the rest of your damn clothes, or would you prefer I treat them like you do and just trash them?” Frank continued impatiently. Suddenly that happy ‘vibe’ Mikey had brought left entirely and all Gerard had was Frank, Frank and his moody ways.
Frank made his way over to the kitchen area of the bus and started to put coffee on like he was asked to *what an obedient little bitch he is sometimes* Gerard thought to himself with a slight laugh. Frank was the best trained guy around and anyone could tell. It bugged Gerard how easily Frank would submit to peoples will. Show him a little affection and he’s yours for however long you want.
"Seriously Gerard, you should clean up your shit. No one wants to be tripping over your clothes. Especially when no one can ever be sure when they were last washed. Its not exactly a pleasant game of guessing either way" Frank continued his onslaught of rolling insults and complaints towards his very existence so casually it made Gerard cringe.
He sighed in spite of himself trying to fight back the many comments coming to mind, sadly he knew this was a losing battle. But then again why go down without a fight?
"You know what Frank" Gerard said catching the younger mans attention instantly "Its is way too early in the morning for your bullshit. So I'd really appreciate it if you just, I dunno maybe shut the fuck up"
"Yeah that’s mature, yeah real mature. Make me look like the bad guy for having common courtesy and knowing how to clean up after myself. While you once again come out the hero right? As always you have to get your way. You are such a fucking prick sometimes, honestly I think I liked you better as a drunk" Frank spat back at him
"GO FUCK YOURSELF IERO!" Gerard shot back. Bringing up his drinking after being sober for 6 months was a low blow, Gerard knew he deserved it, but that didn't help it hurt any less. He knew now that today, was definitely going to be a long day.
"Go fuck myself hmm, well at least I’d get the job done right. From my recollection that’s something you never did!" Frank shot back with a smirk. He was proud of that comment for sure. Then again even Gerard had to admit, it was a rather good comeback.
"Yeah ok, that's why you were always begging for more. Like fucking clock work Frankie boy, just like the fucking bitch you are!" Gerard knew he was crossing a line here, and once crossed he could never go back. But now, now it was personal, Frank too had crossed a line. Now anger poured out of every fiber of his being. He wanted Frank to feel as taken aback by the situation as he did. He wasn't walking away the victim, not this time. He'd done that far too often with Bert. "Seriously just fuck off, I'm warning you. We'll deal with this later, whatever. Just leave me alone right now and mind your own fucking business already! It'll get cleaned up when I finally wake up a bit alright?"
"Right, your just so damn intimidating right? Uttering threats at me like I care, because I'm so scared. Truly that’s real big of you, god Gerard and here I was thinking you cared" Frank said with a mock pout
"I did care about you once upon a time, though lord knows why. I mean seriously, this, this moment right here. Document it in your history book because its proof. Proof as to why I couldn't lower myself to be with someone like YOU" Gerard had finally crossed that line, that line of no return. He'd reached that point where he knew he'd hit a low blow but didn't regret it. "And another thing princess, I don't care what you fucking do to my shit. You toss it you gotta replace it, you leave it and you just deal. Either way somehow as always baby you lose!"
"Fuck you 'Gee' " Frank said finally losing his cool and throwing Gerard into a wall
"Damn baby" Gerard said slightly out of breath from the force "who knew you liked to play rough"
"Shut up Gerard seriously, your driving my patience" Frank said pinning him to the wall with his full weight. Sure it wasn't much but it did hold him in place
"You know if you wanted me all you had to do was ask" That last comment rewarded him a lot differently then he hoped, a swift right hook landing square on his jaw. The taste of blood filled his mouth, but to even his surprise he didn't cry out in pain. Instead he laughed, a maniacal and throaty laugh that caught even him off guard. Dear god he was becoming more like Bert as the time progressed.
"Baby if you wanted to play all you had to do was ask nicely" He said catching Frank off guard and throwing him down on the couch, pinning Frank beneath him "Fine then Frankie, lets play!"
"Get the fuck off of me Gerard, what the hell are you trying to prove!!!" Frank said as he struggled to regain control, but he knew Gerard was stronger then him and it do no good no matter how hard he tried
"Ready to admit defeat yet Frankie? Or have you not yet learned that with me you can't win" Gerard said as he pushed his full weight onto the younger man pushing him into the couch more and making sure he was securely pinned beneath his full weight "Eventually you'll see reason"
“GERARD! WHAT THE FUCK! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL?!” Frank said barely out of breath, he was sure even Gerard was shocked by his actions but that didn’t change how incriminating their current position would look to any bystander that came across them. “Seriously Gerard, do you have any idea how bad this would look if someone walked in just now?” Frank continued, calming down a bit hoping to reach to Gerard’s more rational side. Unfortunately for the smaller man, rationality had left Gerard’s mind state a while back. Now nothing close to rational remained.
“Well then, if their going to think it anyways Frankie boy, might as well give them their monies worth” Gerard stated with a smirk that made Frank instantly uneasy, he knew that smirk. This situation was definitely about to get out of hand. Instantly his fears were realized as Gerard hips pressed into him, grinding him down into the couch. A moan escaped into the air and it took Frank a moment to realize it had come from him.
“Ok seriously Gerard, the jokes over get off of me... NOW” Frank said finally managing to regain control and pinning Gerard instead. “There see it wasn’t that hard after all. Now if you don’t mind I’d like to continue my day without your attempts of getting in my pants thank you!”
Frank started to climb off of his newly found placement of straddling Gerard but was pulled back down instantly. The light touch of Gerard’s lips on his caught him off guard. After the mornings events gentle was the farthest thing from what he expected to have happen. He knew fighting it was useless, he wanted it and there was no point in denying it now. Time stood still if only for a moment, and finally both of them we’re happy.
Frank suddenly threw himself to the floor, Gerard hadn’t even heard the footsteps nor the intruder clearing his throat. But when his gaze met Mikey’s he knew they had in fact been spotted.
“I’m sorry, I’m interrupting aren’t I?” Mikey said with a pout. He’d always hated the remote possibility of upsetting his big brother. He’d always idolized him, and upsetting him or letting him down was a near impossibility for the world of Mikey Way to run smoothly.
“Naw Mikes it was nothing, trust me” Gerard said smirking at the very out of breath man sitting on the floor holding his knees to his chest. Gerard loved having the upper hand and with Frank it was easy to do. “Right Frankie boy? Harmless kids stuff and nothing more”
Frank simply nodded in response now incapable of making eye contact with Gerard. He’d sworn he was past all this, sworn he was over Gerard finally. But as today’s events had proven, that couldn’t be further from the truth. He hated himself for letting that side of him show, hated himself more for the blush he felt creeping into his cheeks. This was NOT how today was supposed to turn out. All he’d wanted was for Gerard to take his share of keeping the bus liveable. A practical make out session was definitely not on his to-do list.
“Frankie, I guess you never got around to making that coffee for me did you?” Mikey said with a giggle knowing full well that coffee had been the last thing on Franks mind.
“Aw shit Mikey, I’m sorry I totally spaced. I’ll make some now” Frank replied barely a mumble
“Its ok silly, I’m awake now I can do it” He paused looking down at the smaller man still curled protectively around himself. Then crossed the room to continue on his quest for coffee with a sigh. “Do ya want some Frankie? You look like you need some waking up too”
Mikey’s attempt at making him feel better didn’t help much he simply nodded shifting his feet ever so slightly so he could turn to face the younger Way. Mikey sighed in response knowing his attempt had failed. “How bout you Gee, ya want coffee? I can make ya one, I promise I’ll get the order right”
Gerard couldn’t help but laugh, sometimes Mikey was the only cause of laughter or smiles in his life. Maybe that’s why the dream had caught him off guard. Loving your brother is one thing, loving him enough to kiss him the way he had. To enjoy it as much as he had, that was entirely another.
“Naw Mikes, I’m just gonna go back to bed. I think I could definitely use the rest” Gerard said finally rising from the couch and casually heading over to the curtain separating the bunks from the rest of the bus. Their last bus had a door, this one had much less privacy. Gerard hated it but knew he couldn’t do anything to change it. They’d already started the tour, what use was complaining now, three weeks in.
“Awwwwww, okie dokie then, night Gee. Hopefully there’ll still be some coffee on for you when you wake up” Mikey added with a pout. Gerard knew his brother liked being able to talk in the morning. Discuss the nights events. Dreams, thoughts the works. But today, he couldn’t handle that. He couldn’t look his brother in the eye and lie about his dream, and he certainly couldn’t tell him about it. Best to avoid the situation as long as he could. Until he discovered another way to deal with the situation that was the only logical option he had. He passed the curtain closing it behind him and sighed to himself. He’d just sit and draw a while, that always calmed him down. Maybe that’s all it was, stress. He need needed to mellow out and just stop thinking. Yes a few sketches would definitely help...
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